Thought things through. Pretty thoroughly too. I miss my life. The one where I had months where I could go to school and not worry about tests, exams, teachers and parents alike breathing down my neck. I miss my class, my cca, the people that were with me and the ones that still are. I'm lucky to have all that I have. Especially the ones that made the choice to stick by me, even though I know at times that trust and faith was tested.

Sometimes, I can't help wondering what other people think of me. What they say of me behind my back. Aren't you curious, whether good or bad, when someone looks in your direction but quickly turns around pretending to be preoccupied? Or people suddenly laughing for no apparent reason other than sharing a little joke amongst themselves and totally not including you? I hate the feeling of exclusion, and have recently realized that I've been doing that to one too many people. Sorry dears. :( Do what you want others to do to you. Every time I remember talking about someone behind their back, dissing them or even just agreeing with a friend's diss, I feel kinda bad. Nobody wants anyone else to be talking bad about them, even though ignorance is bliss. I would hate for it to happen to me. I, after all, have first hand experience of it all.

I was watching Ruby on the style network recently, and it was showing the advertisement of the episode of her forgetting her whole childhood, and that set me thinking about my own. I'm only like 19 this year, but I can't really remember much in primary school. I remember stuff like what the building was like, the walks I took around the school, the bookshops, new and old. Even some of my class life in pri 6 I still remembered. Other then that, everything is just a blur. I always assumed that I did terrible in my lower primary, causing me to drop from B to D to finally E (in class) But according to my results book, I was doing well, As and Bs, even for chinese. Mummy always said that I was pretty competitive with my friends, and then one day, it all just stopped. She also told me I was bullied, and I came home sad about it, but refused to tell her who. *shakes head* I was exactly who I am now, keeping all my feelings to myself. I supposed i didn't want to get in trouble if my mum did report the person. But was that traumatic enough for me to forget my childhood? Honestly. Even pictures can't really bring back any memories. *sigh*

Gotta go sleep now. I'm supposed to meet Beryl and Chaying at JP to watch Ironman 2 at 2. Lol.

Cheers :D

Labels: Ranting

Thought things through. Pretty thoroughly too. I miss my life. The one where I had months where I could go to school and not worry about tests, exams, teachers and parents alike breathing down my neck. I miss my class, my cca, the people that were with me and the ones that still are. I'm lucky to have all that I have. Especially the ones that made the choice to stick by me, even though I know at times that trust and faith was tested.

Sometimes, I can't help wondering what other people think of me. What they say of me behind my back. Aren't you curious, whether good or bad, when someone looks in your direction but quickly turns around pretending to be preoccupied? Or people suddenly laughing for no apparent reason other than sharing a little joke amongst themselves and totally not including you? I hate the feeling of exclusion, and have recently realized that I've been doing that to one too many people. Sorry dears. :( Do what you want others to do to you. Every time I remember talking about someone behind their back, dissing them or even just agreeing with a friend's diss, I feel kinda bad. Nobody wants anyone else to be talking bad about them, even though ignorance is bliss. I would hate for it to happen to me. I, after all, have first hand experience of it all.

I was watching Ruby on the style network recently, and it was showing the advertisement of the episode of her forgetting her whole childhood, and that set me thinking about my own. I'm only like 19 this year, but I can't really remember much in primary school. I remember stuff like what the building was like, the walks I took around the school, the bookshops, new and old. Even some of my class life in pri 6 I still remembered. Other then that, everything is just a blur. I always assumed that I did terrible in my lower primary, causing me to drop from B to D to finally E (in class) But according to my results book, I was doing well, As and Bs, even for chinese. Mummy always said that I was pretty competitive with my friends, and then one day, it all just stopped. She also told me I was bullied, and I came home sad about it, but refused to tell her who. *shakes head* I was exactly who I am now, keeping all my feelings to myself. I supposed i didn't want to get in trouble if my mum did report the person. But was that traumatic enough for me to forget my childhood? Honestly. Even pictures can't really bring back any memories. *sigh*

Gotta go sleep now. I'm supposed to meet Beryl and Chaying at JP to watch Ironman 2 at 2. Lol.

Cheers :D

Labels: Ranting