I feel kinda bad for shutting down when Mum tried to talk to me just now. I mean, I couldn't help it. I just needed for her to chill and let me sort out my thoughts before I could actually tell her straight to her face.

I got rejections from all three Unis I applied to, and I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm kinda in a state of numbness now, I dunno. I feel like I should be crying, but I can't. I feel like I should just let it go, but I can't. I don't know what to feel right now. Because, now, I feel nothing. AT ALL. Sometimes I think whether there's something wrong with me, you know. I can't cry. I thought I almost did just now, but, nope, sorely mistaken.

I know God has a way for me, and Beryl will always be there whenever I need her. We're both on the same boat, and, I should trust in both of them. I have both spiritual and physical support, I mean, what more could I ask for.

I just feel that there's like something wrong with this picture of me typing this message. I mean, shouldn't I be like, I dunno, dying right now? My future's been ripped out in front of me, and I know a lot of friends that are going happily to their new schools. I think I've hid so much that I don't feel anything at all.

One thing's for certain, sometimes I feel like I'm kinda a loser. (Not even in a good way either). I've never done well for school, only just managed to scrape through mostly. I'm going to get compared to my sibling, my cousins soon enough.

I dunno

I really can't feel anything right now. I don't even know what I'm doing is correct or not. I probably should sleep it off. I know I'm gonna wake up to an empty house tomorrow, and I'll have a lot of time to think. We'll see.

Ciao. :)

I feel kinda bad for shutting down when Mum tried to talk to me just now. I mean, I couldn't help it. I just needed for her to chill and let me sort out my thoughts before I could actually tell her straight to her face.

I got rejections from all three Unis I applied to, and I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm kinda in a state of numbness now, I dunno. I feel like I should be crying, but I can't. I feel like I should just let it go, but I can't. I don't know what to feel right now. Because, now, I feel nothing. AT ALL. Sometimes I think whether there's something wrong with me, you know. I can't cry. I thought I almost did just now, but, nope, sorely mistaken.

I know God has a way for me, and Beryl will always be there whenever I need her. We're both on the same boat, and, I should trust in both of them. I have both spiritual and physical support, I mean, what more could I ask for.

I just feel that there's like something wrong with this picture of me typing this message. I mean, shouldn't I be like, I dunno, dying right now? My future's been ripped out in front of me, and I know a lot of friends that are going happily to their new schools. I think I've hid so much that I don't feel anything at all.

One thing's for certain, sometimes I feel like I'm kinda a loser. (Not even in a good way either). I've never done well for school, only just managed to scrape through mostly. I'm going to get compared to my sibling, my cousins soon enough.

I dunno

I really can't feel anything right now. I don't even know what I'm doing is correct or not. I probably should sleep it off. I know I'm gonna wake up to an empty house tomorrow, and I'll have a lot of time to think. We'll see.

Ciao. :)